i want to drown myself in the kitchen sink but only in the metaphorical sense where i dont actually want to die

i want to drown myself in the kitchen sink
i am currently ‘seizing the day’ by laying
in bed thinking endlessly about the clouds
that i only see once a day now

drowning myself in the kitchen sink would be
unpleasant, to say the least b/c it is
unclean and filled with wet food
but i deserve a dirty death i suppose

i just want to lay outside and look at clouds
i want to see their shapes and imagine i’m
actually seeing a coherent image
but inevitably i will just see myself
drowning in the kitchen sink in the sky

the clouds do not want me
and in the moments i see them
they scowl down at me
and show my putrid death

 

internetpoetry:

by amazongrime

internetpoetry:

by amazongrime

20 Aug 2014 / Reblogged from internetpoetry with 39 notes

work sucks but so do i

i have a spiritual ephiphany during
my 9 hour shift at mcdonalds

i stare at the burgers sizzling as
they burn on the grill

feeling briefly relieved of the
stress of knowing we will all die eventually

i realize it’ll never be alright again
i realize it’ll all be alright again

i take the burgers off and serve them
continuing my monotonous job

i slip and fall onto the floor from a
spot of grease left uncleaned and
stare at the ceiling as no one helps

my head flat against the tile
wondering about the immensity of my own life

after my shift i take a walk into the woods
adjacent to my yard
something lives here w/ me but i never see it

the great terror only exists
in the corners of my eyes

i can feel its immense breath on my shoulder
as i walk past long-dead trees

blood drips onto my shoulder from its maw
i know it wants to eat me
this great terror in the woods
but im not ready yet

so as i reach the treeline

the sound of blood spattering disappears
and i fall into the grass to stare
at the gargantuan sky above my eyes

no clouds in the sky,
like we’re wrapped up
in one giant ocean

i want to be eaten by the great terror
and let the burgers sizzling disappear
from my life

i started to hum as i looked up at the sky
the dew was making my back wet

felt myself sink into the ground
melting down into the soil
until the sky disappeared behind
the worm-filled brown

and i found myself back on my bed
browsing social media for 23 hours
of my day off from work

15 Aug 2014 / Reblogged from welfarestate with 32 notes

(Source: waylondo)

15 Aug 2014 / Reblogged from altlitpress with 22 notes

internetpoetry:

image macro by waitingroomgallery

internetpoetry:

image macro by waitingroomgallery

2 Aug 2014 / Reblogged from internetpoetry with 399 notes

i wrote this while being very sad but it’s a bit hopeful i guess

i want our every kiss to feel like heaven
but every one feels just like the last
like we’re down beneath the ocean being
crushed and isolated in the darkness
until our lips touch for a brief moment

i often wonder what birds feel
when they fly together in the sky
i want us to experience that feeling together @ 7am
after having just woken up
from a night of some alright sex

i want to face and hug death with you
in my arms at the same time hoping he
hugs back and then

all of the cigarettes at 3 am
all of the heartbreak at 7 pm
all of the lost sleep at 11 pm
all of the self loathing at 10 am
all of the mediocre kisses at 6 am

will fade away leaving us feeling

like birds flying in the sky together
like we’re crushed under the waves
like our lips are brushing each other
like our blood is tea and the air is fading from our lungs

and we will look upon the
great immensity of the universe all at once
and we will cry in that very moment

i love/hate the current state of affairs

all of my bones are about to break into pieces
i’m laying on my living room couch, waiting
for the sun to burn out and devour the earth

cigarette in my hand, my decomposition
has already started and i can feel my
brittle bones starting to finally break in the air

when we were children we were more cruel
i remember accidentally killing a frog once
i laughed and then ran off with my friends

i think about that frog every night and how
i murdered it and then laughed it off
i wish i knew you as a kid

i let the ash fall onto my floor
there is a great terror in my apartment
standing over me right now, ready to kill

i ignore the great terror and continue
reminiscing about the tragedy of the
squished frog that i laughed at

i’ve been running from that frog
ever since i turned 15 and learned
a little bit of right and wrong

when we talk it feels just like we’re
giving each other air and pumping
each other’s blood like mad

once this great terror subsides and
i fall down from the sky and feel
the air tearing off my skin

blood will splatter across the concrete
and you will die a natural death at
age 84

then we can be ghosts together
for a century of living in the past kissing,
hugging, fucking, all those times all over again

until we find peace on earth and
move onto the afterlife, i’ll watch
you rise up as i sink slowly into the abyss

i want to sleep outside until she comes back

i drive to a burger king and slid into the handicap spot
i lowered the window and threw up on the blue lines flanking me

felt like i had been here with vomit on the ground before
my heart was empty with the ventricles and aorta pumping air

i got myself out of the car with the vomit squishing under my boots
ive eaten nothing but vegan chili and rare meat all week

the burger king bordered a major highway so i rested
with the barrier separating the parking lot digging into my ass

i stared at the lights passing me by, the high finally
kicking in as a car nicer than ill ever own blew past me

i felt the lights intensify until the road was filled
to the brim with reds and yellows and oranges that made no sense

my eyes began to burn as the orange lights
ripped through my retinas and began digging in

as i felt my eyes be consumed by orange light i wondered
if i would ever see her again and felt that i wouldnt

she disappeared into the night and we cant find her
i dont think we’ll ever find her and ill never know what happened

i hope someone found her and took her in at least
or that she died painlessly in the night
or something

i had somewhere i was going with this poem but i dont give a fuck
anymore i guess

i just want my friend back

i feel violent towards those who read my work sometimes
the orange light has completely consumed my eyes now (i’m blind)

i fall off the barrier and land on some grass
i pass out maybe, the details are fuzzy at this point

i would trade the person i lost already for her
honestly

id rather someone just not want to be around me
than for someone to disappear without a trace and never come back

i woke up at 7 am and got back into my car

my vomit had dried at this point
i left the burger king without eating anything and
with any luck i died the next day.