i’m moving sites (this will stay up as an archive of past works)

I’m going to be moving the majority of my creative output to medium for now, due to it catering to my current needs as a writer more than tumblr does. i will be keeping up this page as an archive for my past works, since they’re so many it would take months to repost all of them if i tried. i’m also reposting my twitter so you can see my more personal stuff there, if you give a shit about seeing me exist as an actual human instead of an art dispensary (jk love all my readers)

https://medium.com/@tokyovamp

https://twitter.com/dogculture2001

n0tanxious:

vasilinaorlova:

I want to look

at your preorgasming face 

i feel like i’m a runaway caught up in the great american survival

i.

my iphone screen is cracked to fuck
crushed inside my car door
obsidian eyes slowly swallowing the
dimensions of every room i enter
diamonds peppering my skull
i bleed out molten gold
as a jeweled serpent presses its
ruby fangs along my artery
glimmering gaze predatory
set upon the volatile healing i’ve
stolen from a past i deserved
ascendent bitch i am
ground apart a little more each time
i wake up from senseless dreams
to a new day - the ceiling like slate
my resolve is cracked to fuck

ii.

days fed to me at a slow shutter speed
faking smiles all the way till i die

posing for my own camera desperate to prove
the reality of my ugly soul

butterflies bisected amongst
spent cigarettes smoldering out
front the bar
like fresh shell casings

i.
immaterial pretense
pump me up getting an operation
to replace all my bones with
frozen lemonade hoping that,
for the brief few minutes till it melts
and i’m crying bloody sugar water,
calling myself a girl won’t
feel so fucking counterfeit

ii.
riot glows haunt my ceiling every night
phone whispering banshee howls in my ear
consumed by the world in razor focus
silos scarring the midwest ready to vomit gamma

i’m afraid
reality begins to erode away
outside desperate alienation
still muscles fixate my eyes on the shade
of an Other Present glinting along the ceiling tiles
where i’m more than just a mask of flies
gnawing away at a vaguely defined vestige
of who i was determined to be

iii.
july sunset condensing in
my left shoulder
inferno flicker
bubblegum fader
tragic ready

with The Tower outlining my shadow
i know it’s all sick imitation but
please tell me i’m glowing
before my muscles blast apart in ribbons
against my shoulder blades

iv.
recoiling back into dissociation
aware now that paralysis is the only
state i can survive the moment in

god, oh god

irises aflame with static glitter
lips compelled to utter a hex upon
my past for convincing me of the
untruth that i didn’t need the right
body to feel Sufficient

“Mika? That’s an odd name, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to get used to seeing you as a girl or calling you by that, sorry Michael.”

my fingertips are curled into claws along my cheekbones
trying to wrench underneath the muscle and skip all the bullshit and just
rip this mask off ive been cursed with since i could recognize myself in the mirror

everytime i bathe my nails in teal
everytime i gloss my lips for you
everytime i look in the mirror wondering if im pretty enough yet for
the world to forget who i was
i am simmering with urgent terror

am i doomed to being cleansed off the underworld
as people’s tongues can only recall the unknowable shade deemed “michael”

ruination bearing down upon every present thought
all i can bring my form to do is
slither underneath my covers and hope that instead of recalling that
imposter that once possessed the blood coiling around my bones,
people will just forget my existence entirely
my memory won’t have to wander beneath the veil as a howling wraith
stripped of all identity, of all worth, of all will
a shadow - empty

let fury flow out through my mane, fucker

tokyovamp:

fuck my whole life flirting with reality absence
acid-bathe my teeth and kick beats spiral down
as reds sharpen pupils black coated
THIRST/THIRST/THIRST/THIRST/THIRST/THIRST
refuse of the periphery floods the sensory

sweet delirium corrodes my vision away
into pure and present incomprehension

blast out w/ lust for flesh between my canines

ill be the cinderella scum you want outta your nightmares
only got half of my onyx nails painted and im still
glam enough to pump you fulla venom you fuck

your terror stopped hiding in the closet long ago so
s'all good if you decide to tell me im just playing dress-up
because ive already lit up your chest with
chem-laced 45 calibers

let me trace azaleas in your exit wounds

curb stomp and feel your jaw eating through
three inches concrete
exuding an aura glitter’d with your starved blood
smearing your disgust all over my lips
i’m osiris as fuck right now and i can’t be stopped

persona-evo:

persona-evo:

I guess don’t go to the Austin Eruption server if you’re a trans woman and don’t like what they’re doing with the new Catherine game?

Here’s to explain everything:

If you are unaware, Austin Eruption is a Youtuber who specializes in video games (what a concept). I became interested in him and his content due to the fact that he seemed to be pretty pro-social justice overall, so I decided to join his server after hearing about what a great place it was in one of his videos.

Things went well, at first, but there was a bit of friction between myself and other users over some disagreements. I figured it wasn’t too serious, since disagreements seemed to happen frequently on the server but no bad blood was ever held on to.

The first time I really noticed that the users there were really not what I was expecting was when I criticized the Persona games for their homophobia and transphobia (mind you, I love the Persona games), and was met with scoff that that was just how it is in Japan, and that I shouldn’t get upset about different cultural values.

Things continued, I never openly acknowledged the argument or held it against them. There were some other disagreements I was involved in, namely that I didn’t think it was cool of another user to victim blame people with gambling addictions for buying lootboxes, and that I didn’t like the adult romance options in Persona 5.

Then, the first absolutely major thing happened that really should have told me to jump ship then.

I had an argument with another user because they were defending Diversity & Comics, who despite the name, is an alt-right Youtuber that at the time was doxxing female comic shop employees as part of a harassment campaign due to comic shops not ordering his comic.

I got really pissed, and did not shy away from making it known. It came to a stop when a mod stepped in and basically chastised us both for getting heated. I got no indication that the mod in question, any of the other staff, nor Austin himself cared that one of their users was defending a racist Youtuber.

Later, the next major incident involving me was when another user used a “triggered” joke to make fun of LGBT people being upset over How To Train Your Dragon 3 announcing a female love interest for Toothless. In Austin’s credit, he at least recognized that using “triggered” like that wasn’t cool, but then proceeded to defend the jokes anyway. He gave me the whole schpeel that there are bad people on both sides and that I shouldn’t be bothered by mocking them.

I later had another issue where when the remaster for Catherine was being discussed, I pointed out that I did not feel comfortable with the new character since they just seemed like a transphobic depiction to me, and that the advertising of her being based around her genitals was pretty gross. One user joked that “traps won’t hurt you”.

I explained that it was because I’m a trans woman, and let the use of a slur like that go. It came up again later with me bringing up the same discomfort about the new character, and was basically told to stop being a negative nancy, because it’s an unreleased game that we shouldn’t speculate about like that. “We don’t even know that they’re trans” was the line I was given.

A week later, I have been banned due numerous complaints about antagonism, specifically mentioning my issue with Catherine being “brought up all the time” (it was twice), and the earlier issue over me being upset about calling LGBT people “triggered” and feeling unwelcome because of it. I was given no chance to give my perspective on anything, and even while attempting to understand the issue more to apologize I was accused of trying to figure out who had complained about me.

This is despite other users on the server regularly shittalking things they don’t like. 

Which leads me to why I’m posting this. Frankly, I don’t care what happens with Austin now. However, I must warn any LGBT friends to not enter that server.

Austin and the community he has built up, while rightfully having an issue with the idea of toxic people and arguments, have taken it to the level of tone policing rather than dealing with the aggressor. I won’t claim to have been a perfect mod myself when I was given the responsibility among other communities, but I know full well that you don’t ban somebody for getting mad at a bigot.